You know... They outta....
Outlaw DVD players in Minivans
I can't help but watch while I'm driving on the highway behind one. By the time I can identify the movie that is playing on the 5" screen, I have to slam on the brakes to avoid a collision.
Keep the prices of all burgers at McDonald's at $1.69 every day
Sometimes I feel like a BigMac on Wednesday, or a McChicken on Monday.
Try NOT to align the seem of the Tim Horton's cup with the flip back lid thingie
What are the odds. I seem to get this all the time. It's like they do it on purpose just to piss me off.
Outlaw the 3 year expiry on a outdoors card that has 5 yearly validation sticker spots
I think some of you know what I mean. ( Eddie and Arthur )
Put an OPEN button on the remote for the Panasonic S97 DVD player
The remote has every other possible button imaginable, but you can't open the DVD tray without pressing the button on the physical unit.
Design a pair of men's underwear that doesn't disintegrate at the crotch
... or maybe just a pill that my wife could take to make her not care that I have a bunch of crotchless underwear.
Offer a discount on gasoline for those who car-pool to work
There should be a government funded incentive for those you choose to help the environment by driving to work with a colleague.
Stop studios from re-releasing new special edition DVD versions of your favourite film
How many times have you picked up a DVD and then seen a new special edition come out a few months later, only to find that a few months later a super extra extended special edition is available, and then the ultra uber extended special collectors edition is released with the 5 minutes of "never before seen footage". ARGHHHHHHHH!!!
I've ranted enough for one evening....
posted by Retroboy at 10:10 PM
3 Comments:
Lol - thanks for the laugh. The Tim's thing is soooo true. As for the pill - let me know how you make out with that - I could use some of that drug myself.
March 4, 2005 at 9:21 AM
Ah, someone who understands the pain of the missing-the-one-critical-button remote!
Lovely rant. It moved me. To what, I am not sure. Maybe to write my own as a sort of homage to your excellent example. Thanks!
March 27, 2005 at 11:12 PM
Wow, you only post once every quarter but at least it is quality stuff. Post more often.
The lack of an open/close button on the S97 remote is a pain in the butt. I loved that my old Yamaha DVD player a button for that. I'm lazy.
Crotchless underwear? That just paints such a nasty picture in my mind. I feel for your wife. No, I pity her. You should look into some disposable diaper products for grownups. Either that or invest in some wipes with aloe.
Excuse me. I have to vomit...
April 27, 2005 at 10:48 AM
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